


It Ends With a Twist

by thestarkswillendure



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 18:12:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13463751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestarkswillendure/pseuds/thestarkswillendure
Summary: Caitlin had never quite believed that she would ever step foot in Star Labs again. After Savitar disintegrated, Killer Frost disappeared without a trace and it wasn't until a year later when Barry came running out of the speed force unexpectedly that Caitlin returned, holding a secret close to her chest.





	It Ends With a Twist

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the S4 premiere. I found Barry's condition fascinating and I was so disappointed that it was resolved the way it was (the fact that all the biggest comic arcs are boiled down to a single episode is highly annoying) so with a little bit of outside knowledge from class, I began to research and write and somehow this fic became a way for me to answer and respond to all the questions and theories and headcanons that the SB fandom has come up with.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, the canon quotations taken from the show and/or any of the storylines this fic took liberties with in adapting. Also will not profit off this.

Caitlin had never quite believed that she would ever step foot in Star Labs again. Though the building often seemed to have a siren effect, beckoning her home in her dreams, any temptation it might have held evaporated upon waking, overpowered by a maelstrom of emotions.

Guilt. Agony. Sorrow. Fear. And love. So much love, it hurt.

She missed Cisco and his easy way of being, the way he laughed so freely and cared so gently. She missed HR and his silly anecdotes. She missed the Wests and their love for one another, the kind of warm familial love she’d often found too absent from her own life. She missed Barry, headstrong and kind, always determined to do what was right.

But in the year since she’d last stepped foot in the cold, empty halls, she’d found a new love. A new fear, another agony, a secret to protect.

“Caitlin,” Cisco called.

She tore her eyes from the building, finding Cisco watching her anxiously as if he expected her to make a run for it. Part of her desperately wished to do so. Return to Bludhaven. Away from well-intentioned prying inquiries and concerned looks.

She steels herself and nods, following him into the building, a ball of dread twisting uneasily in her stomach. The elevator ride down into the cortex is tense and she knows that Cisco is watching her, surreptitiously from the corner of his eyes as if she’s a mirage he wants desperately to be real, but she can’t bring herself to care.

There’s a ball forming in her throat and her hands are shaking and she can feel the trepidation setting in, her fingertips frosting over. She shuts her eyes hastily, urging her emotions to fall under control.

_Don’t turn. Don’t turn. Don’t turn._

The doors slide open and she blinks. Almost absentmindedly, she finds herself following the ghosts of past footsteps, a sense of urgency pushing her forward into the cortex even as her brain screams to turn back.

Joe turns as she walks in and the relief that settles on his face is enough to bring a timid smile to her face. He seems to remember himself then, remember _her_ , and the crushing guilt and shame that slams into her is enough to bring tears to her eyes.

“Joe, I… I know I can never make up for the things I did to you, to Cecil, to Iris… I just - I just hope one day, you can forgive me?”

He regards her warily, eyes flicking over to Cisco behind her. After a pause, and with an audible sigh, he holds his arms out for a hug.

“Bring it in,” he says, not unkindly.

Tears prick at her eyes and as she steps into the circle of his arms, she murmurs endless apologies, trying to keep herself from crying.

“We’re gonna need more diapers.”

She stiffens, something cold settling in the pit of her stomach. Stepping back, she moves further into the cortex, her eyes pinned to the figure in her lab, scribbling on the walls in marker. Barry.

“Nora shouldn’t be here,” he tells her as she steps into the lab, a smile gracing his lips.

She smiles sadly, already having convinced herself that he spoke of his mother.

He looked good, despite the too long hair and the unkept beard. The last time she’d seen him was in that field, hugging Iris, Savitar’s body disintegrating before their eyes. She’d left that very night, no explanation, no trace to follow.

She knew, though, that he’d been in the Speed Force. She’d seen the news of the storm, the singularity that had broken open over Central City, the headlines month after month, reporters wondering where the Flash had gone. Then, it had just been another reason to stay away, the bitterest salt kept from the wound of his disappearance.

But now, standing before him, Caitlin didn’t know if she could walk away. Not again. Not like this.

“Can you hear the stars singing?” he asks, clutching his head and muttering under his breath. “Chiming, rhyming, timing, every hour, every minute.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Joe asks, coming to a stop beside her. “Is it shock?”

Caitlin shakes her head, clearing her throat and averting her eyes before she speaks.

“Shock results from a drop in blood pressure, this is neurological,” she explains, eyes falling on the weird symbols that Barry has turned back to inscribing.

“How long ago did you find him?” she asks, stepping closer to Barry, who glances up at her curiously. She kneels beside him, hand reaching for the penlight she keeps in her bag. He blinks owlishly, eyes startlingly wide in the light.

“He came barreling out of the Speed Force a few weeks ago. We don’t know why, we didn’t know what to do except try and find you.”

“I couldn’t vibe you,” Cisco says, tone accusatory.

She glanced at him, eyes pleading for him to understand that it wasn’t anything personal. He looks away, muscle ticking in his jaw. Sighing, she turned her attention towards Joe again.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you needed me,” she offers, half-heartedly.

“If it’d been up to me and had there been any guarantee that he’d keep quiet about the Flash business, I would have agreed with Iris and taken him to see a psychologist but Cisco insisted that you were the one for the job,” Joe reasoned, shrugging.

Caitlin nodded tightly, another jolt of guilt striking her core at the mention of Iris.

“How is she taking it?”

Joe didn’t respond, a profound weariness settling over him.

“You’ve brought him back every single time, bring him back to us again. Please, Caitlin”.

“I will do everything in my power, I promise,” she assured him.

“Stars melting, like ice cream… dream, gleam… nothing seems. Nora shouldn’t be here,” Barry repeated to Caitlin, urgently, hands reaching out to touch her hair.

She blinked, reaching up to pull his hand back down, trying hard not to think of the last time he’d done that. She smoothed a thumb over the back of his hand, brows furrowing as she watched him ramble on.

“He’s not speaking in cyphers or anything, ran it through every algorithm I knew. Whatever he learned in the Speed Force, it’s not anything that makes sense in this dimension,” Cisco muttered.

Caitlin nodded, standing. Gently, she pulled Barry up, hushing him gently when he began to talk about the stars once again.

“So, what do we do now?” Joe asked, running a hand over his face.

“We run some tests.”

* * *

 

Caitlin squinted at the screen before her, chewing on her lip as she tried to make sense of the readings before her.

“This doesn’t make any sense,” she murmured, poking tentatively at the screen to zoom into one of the scans.

Barry’s genes seemed to be infused with an energy beyond the standard power for a speedster; it was as if during his time in the speedforce, he had absorbed the very energy that surrounded him. What struck her odd was the fact that Barry seemed to be exhibiting symptoms similar to that of someone with Wernicke’s aphasia but that couldn’t be the case. Barry’s condition was a by-product of his time in the speedforce, not the consequence of stroke or head trauma or any of the other common causes for aphasia.

She paused, mentally correcting herself. That it was supernaturally induced didn’t preclude the presence of an actual scientific diagnosis; after all, Barry had been in a coma for nine months after he was struck by lightning and affected by the dark matter from the particle accelerator.

She sighed, rubbing tiredly at her eyes.

“Were you ever planning on coming back?”

Caitlin whirled, finding Cisco leaning up against the doorway. His face was carefully blank but Cisco always did have the most expressive eyes and now, they fixed on her, full of sorrow and betrayal.

She bites her lip, blinking rapidly, trying to stop the welling of tears in her eyes. She’d hurt him.

“I don’t think this is some place I could ever leave behind… but part of me wanted to... part of me still does,” Caitlin admits quietly.

He cuts in abruptly, arms falling to the side.

“Why, Caitlin? We’re a team, a family.”

Some bitter remnant inside her, in the place where Killer Frost resides, wants to scoff at the notion and she has to shake her head to erase the thought. Cisco steps into the room and comes to a stop before her, peering at her sincerely.

“All I want is an explanation. I missed my best friend,” he finishes weakly, eyes pleading her.

“I missed you too,” she confesses.

In the long silence that follows, Caitlin considers the consequences of what’s she about to do. She knew it could get ugly with the others but Cisco… Cisco could never hate her, she knew that.

For so long, she’d longed to tell someone, share the news with someone who loved her and cared for her. Her mother had been very accommodating, helping her buy stuff and get settled once again in Bludhaven but she had never been particularly affectionate or emotionally invested in things and this had been no different.

“Do you really want to know why I was scared to come back?” she asks, almost breathlessly.

He nods encouragingly and she lets out a shuddery breath, reaching out between them.

“My time with Savitar,” she says by way of explanation and for a moment, he seems confused but then realizing what she’s asking him to do, he reaches out and takes her hand.

His eyes slip close as he vibes and she watches anxiously as his eyelids flicker with every memory, every scene he takes in. She knows when he’s seen it, his hand pulling back with a shock, the gasp he emits loud and sharp in the air between them.

He’s looking at her wide-eyed and a dozen emotions flicker over his face but finally, finally, he settles on one. Understanding.

“Oh Caitlin,” he breathes.

Caitlin bites her lip, the smile she attempts falling flat into a grimace.

“Come here,” he beckons, pulling her close into a hug.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she sobs, her resolve breaking as he hugs her tightly. “They’re going to hate me. He’s going to hate me. I had to leave, Cisco. I had to- I had to”.

Her speech becomes incomprehensible between sobs and wet heaves and Cisco hushes her, stroking her back gently.

“No one is going to hate you. I promise… He won’t hate you,” he murmurs softly.

She doesn’t believe him but god, how she desperately wants to.

She’s not sure how long they stand like that.

* * *

In the end, she’s only able to avoid Iris for as long as Iris avoids Star Labs. It’s almost a week from when Cisco first brought her back when Iris finally steps into the cortex. Caitlin looks up from her notes, having spent the last week researching Wernicke’s aphasia and coordinating with some friends in the field on the best way to treat Barry.

Treating aphasia wasn’t too complicated a process but adapting it to account for Barry’s time in the speedforce and its influence had led to many a sleepless nights. Not that Caitlin slept much these days anyways.

Iris doesn’t even realize she’s in the room at first, her eyes glued to Barry’s sleeping form. Caitlin watches quietly as she steps up to his bedside, hand reaching out to drag fingertips over his arm.

A muffled sound escapes her, almost like a sob, and Caitlin feels distinctly uncomfortable. She goes to turn around, give Iris a modicum sense of privacy but in doing so, knocks over the stack of research notes on her desk. They flutter softly to the ground, loud in the silence of the room.

She bends to pick them up hurriedly, for want of something, anything to avoid eye contact.

“Where have you been for the past year?”

Iris’ voice is calm, collected but there’s an undercurrent of steel, of rancor in her words that makes Caitlin want to turn and run. Instead, she straightens, papers in hand and looks carefully at Iris, who stares back at her unblinkingly. Her eyes are tired and red-rimmed, like someone who’s spent the last hour crying, and she looks thinner than she did since Caitlin last saw her. Something in Caitlin, all the broken pieces inside her, find its reflection in Iris and the guilt, the shame that she’s been harboring within her for a year triples.

“Bludhaven,” she answer truthfully. “I needed time to learn how to control m-”.

“Are you even going to apologize for teaming up with that madman? For Cecile and my dad? Why are you here, Caitlin?”

Caitlin falters. She tries to dredge up every single apology to Iris she’s ever composed in her head but they fall dead on arrival at her lips. _It’s not enough._

“I feel terrible for the things I did and I know there’s nothing I can do to erase them but I can help him, Iris,” Caitlin explains just as the others walk in. “I’m just trying to help.”

“The only person you help is yourself!” Iris yells, voice cracking and Caitlin flinches, the truth of it more painful than she cares to admit.

“Woah, woah, woah,” Cisco cuts in between them.

“You’re just like Barry,” Iris cries, slumping to the ground. “You leave and you leave and you don’t care- you don’t care who you leave behind”.

Joe kneels beside her, pulling her to his chest, murmuring soft words. Wally settles himself nearby, a comforting hand rubbing circles onto her shoulder. Cisco pulls Caitlin along quietly, leaving the West family to grieve and console one another.

In hindsight, Caitlin thinks later, she should have known that was the beginning of everything because the proverbial cat is dragged, hissing and scratching, from its bag only a few days later.

Caitlin is walking the others through the treatment plan she’s come up with when it happens.

“There’s no real way to account for how the speed force affected him but neurologically, a lot of the symptoms he exhibits are similar to that of stroke victims with Wernicke’s aphasia, more specifically of the transcortical sensory type,” Caitlin explained.

“Caitlin,” Joe interrupts and she pauses, “In English, please”.

“There are two main areas in the brain that affect language, Broca’s area and Wernicke’s area. When there’s damage to Broca’s area, the ability to produce language is impaired but when there’s damage to Wernicke’s area, what’s impaired is the ability to process and comprehend language. So, like Barry, those with Wernicke’s can still produce connected, fluent speech but it ends up coming out like word salad in a sense,” Caitlin gestured, bringing up visuals on screen.

“The good news is that fluent aphasia -that is, Wernicke’s aphasia- has been successfully treated in the past,” she continued.

“I sense there’s a ‘but’ coming,” Wally spoke up, arms crossed over his chest as he studied the screens.

“But, there’s a possibility he won’t ever be the same Barry,” she finished quietly, eyes sliding to where Iris stood.

Joe shook his head, stepping forward.

“But he can regenerate. Doesn’t that mean anything?”

Caitlin grimaced, teetering on her heel.

“Like I said, there’s no real way to account for how the speed force affected him. The way his vitals come up, he’s in perfect health. Beyond what’s normal even for a speedster but….”

Caitlin trailed off, glancing to where Barry stood in the corner of the room, murmuring to himself and writing those strange symbols once again.

As they watched, Barry paused in his writing and turned. His eyes crackled with electricity, unearthly and awe-inspiring. Caitlin’s breath caught, a memory coming to mind of another Barry, one obsessed with becoming a god.

“Barry?” Cisco asked, alarmed.

“Nora shouldn’t be here,” he repeats and his eyes find Caitlin’s.

Her eyes widen, ice trailing down her spine as she realizes what he’s talking about.

Before she can speak, he’s flashed out of the room, papers stirring in his wake, her hair flying. The voices of the others, all clamoring over one another and shouting questions, trying to track Barry through the city, fade into the background as a cold dawning sense grows on Caitlin.

“Cisco, take me home,” she demands, her voice drowned in the commotion.

On the desk, her phone rings, Eliza’s name dancing across the screen. She lunges for it, trying hard to hear over the noise.

“Caitlin! Caitlin, there’s someone here. Caitlin- Caitlin! Can you hear me?!”

She drops the phone and yells.

“I know where Barry is!”

Everyone freezes, falling silent, turning back to where she stands. She clears her throat.

“Cisco, take me home,” she speaks softly, meeting his eyes.

Silently, he opens up a portal and she slips through, coming out to stand in her living room, aware that the others crowd behind her. Eliza whirls, brown eyes wide.

“Caitlin, he just appeared out of nowhere, I swear and the door won’t open and-” Eliza babbles, unfazed by the fact that Caitlin isn't even listening her.

A part of her wants to blast the door down but she tamps down on the desire, summoning every last bit of icy strength into her hands as she reaches the door and freezes the knob. It twists off under her and clatters to the floor, the door swinging in to reveal Barry standing in the middle of the room, rocking something in his arms.

She wills the ice away, stepping carefully in the room.

When she steps closer, heart lodged in her throat, Barry looks up, a sad smile on his face.

“We’re gonna need more diapers,” he huffs, chuckling.

A laugh bubbles out of Caitlin, an edge of hysteria to it that unnerves her. For a moment, just a single moment, she lets herself believe that this, that _she_ was enough to bring Barry back and then he speaks again.

“From a single atom to an entire galaxy,” he mutters and Caitlin’s hopes plummet as he continues to speak about physics, a speech that almost sounds like Dr. Wells’ on the night of the particle accelerator opening.

“Can someone explain what is going on?” Joe asks hesitantly.

“Who is that?” Wally asks, his eyes wide as he stares at Barry and the baby in his arms.

“My daughter,” Caitlin whispers.

* * *

 “Let me get this straight. Not only did you help a madman who wanted to kill my daughter, not to mention you also threatened to kill Cecile but you actually slept with that psychopath too?”

“Joe, come o-” Cisco cuts in.

“No, Cisco! This is - this is just too much. I don’t blame that child for existing but she’s as much a part of Barry as Savitar is. My first gran…” he cuts himself off sharply, glancing at Iris.

She hadn’t spoken since they’d arrived, her eyes glued to Barry who is still walking around with the baby in his arms, whispering the secrets of the universe. Caitlin only wishes that their first meeting had happened under better consequences but that wouldn’t have ever been possible. Things were too complicated as it was, even without the speedforce-induced aphasia.

“I couldn’t control Killer Frost then as I can now. If I could, I never would have-” she stops and starts again, “I never would have joined Savitar.”

_I never would have slept with him and I never would have gotten pregnant with a time remnant of another woman’s husband-intended._

“I’m still confused. How is this possible?” Wally cut in, waving a hand in the air. “I thought Savitar said that he was Barry’s past, present and future; that his going back in time to kill Iris was what split the timeline and created the time remnants. Wouldn’t he have known this was going to happen?”

Caitlin sighs, burying her face in her hands.

“The only explanation I have is that when HR took Iris’ place, he changed things which meant the future changed,” Caitlin mused, her eyes trailing over to Barry once again.

She calls out to him softly, reaching out for her daughter. He pauses for a moment and then carefully settles her in Caitlin’s arms before sitting beside her himself. Caitlin wonders momentarily where he’s learned to hold a baby.

“How would you hear me in the treetops… mops, tops, tater-tots. Special, said his mother,” Barry hums.

“What’s her name?”

All eyes look to Iris, who is pale and trembling. Caitlin hesitates, glancing at Barry and then Joe, before her eyes settle back on Iris.

“Nora. Nora Grace Snow,” she murmurs.

Iris doesn’t speak for a long time, eyes unblinkingly fixated on the wall behind Caitlin. Suddenly, she’s standing and marching out of the apartment faster than anyone can move.

Wally stands abruptly and follows her out the door, shouting her name. Joe stands as well and then hesitates, stepping closer to where they sit.

In her arms, Nora yawns, blinking large green eyes up at them. He frowns and looks at Cisco.

“You knew about this?”

“I only found out earlier this week,” Cisco shakes his head.

Joe sighs and with one last glance at Nora, he follows his kids out the door. The apartment door falls shut, leaving Cisco, Caitlin and Barry alone with the baby. Eliza had been ousted shortly after their arrival, her roommate freaked out by the events and the drama.

“Give me that cute kid,” Cisco smiles, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

He heaves her out of Caitlin’s arms, swaying around the room with Nora in his arms. Complications aside, Cisco had been delighted to find out that he was an uncle and had spent the past half week coming over to familiarize himself with Nora. It made Caitlin happy to see her best friend with her daughter but more than anything, it made her wish that there hadn’t been so much missed time.

She slumps back into the couch, everything hitting her at once.

A hand comes to rest on her shoulders and Caitlin glances over to where Barry is still sitting beside her.

“I’m just not sure I’m like you, Oliver,” Barry says and despite the fact that Oliver Queen is nowhere in sight, the smile on his face, the way he’s so clearly trying to comfort her makes her feel warm.

She places a hand on his cheek, loving the feel of his beard underneath her hand, the sensation reminding her of smooth, scarred skin.

Objectively, she knew that Savitar wasn’t Barry, not in the way she knew him. He wasn’t good and warm and kind, spirited, tenacious, noble. But, her own memories were proof enough that some part of him still remained Barry. Loyal, impassioned, captivating.

Killer Frost had seen it, had known it. Her faith hadn’t been misplaced like Cisco and Barry had suggested, Barry himself had said as much. In that timeline, where Savitar succeeded, where Iris died and Team Flash was no more, Killer Frost had ruled side by side with Savitar for years before Julian trapped her.

And more than that, Caitlin could remember feeling… almost comfortable in his presence. Perhaps it had been Killer Frost’s confidence but she’d never been afraid to question him, to tease him even. Even his actions, saving her when he could have killed Tracy spoke to the truth of the fact that he’d never seen her as a disposable pawn. She had been his equal.

Caitlin wasn’t sure if their ensuing situation, those late nights spent together after long planning sessions, was something that had always been occurrent in their partnership or something specific to this timeline but it had been during those moments shared that they’d seen glimpses of each other. Not of Savitar and Killer Frost but of Caitlin and Barry, albeit broken and damaged and lethal.

Their nights together weren’t soft, not in the way they’d been with Ronnie. Loving and sweet and careful but they’d never been bad either. They were sensual and passionate, like a hunger that was never satisfied, always seeking and enticing and teasing.

Barry shifts beside her then and Caitlin’s eyes drop to his lips, her stomach fluttering with butterflies. Her hand falls into her lap and she has to turn away, her eyes finding Cisco instead.

“They don’t hate you, Caitlin,” he offers quietly, brown eyes sad and worried. “They just need time to process”.

“Time,” she repeats, nodding. That she could understand.

* * *

 With mild trepidation, she begins Barry’s treatment.

She learns that his reading comprehension far outweighs his ability to produce sensical language; that he’s retained all his knowledge in his fields of expertise, even solving physics problems that have yet to be solved. On paper, he can rattle off the entire periodic table from memory plus some other elements that Caitlin’s positive are yet to be discovered but when she asks him to recite it, all that comes out is something that sounds mysteriously like a sonnet.

They take to making flashcards for key words and Caitlin and Cisco both adapt their manner of speaking so as to make things easier for Barry, gesturing when they can and keeping conversations relative.

When she’s not working with Barry, she monitors the comms, watching over Wally and Cisco whenever they head out to deal with metas. It’s a bit weird being in what she supposes is a leadership position although the boys don’t need much in terms of guidance, just help tracking metas and their distinct signatures throughout the city but she’d never done this alone. It had always been Cisco and her on the comms with Barry, and later Wally, out on the streets.

Joe checks in a few times a week, doing his part in trying to help Barry and coordinating with Wally and Cisco over the more troublesome metas but Iris… Iris doesn’t come back and it’s only weeks later that Caitlin learns from an uncomfortable Wally that his sister has left to Opal City to think things through.

By then, Barry has regained about 60% of his speech accuracy, a number that increases to 80% by the time she finishes with the treatment plan. Joe cries and even Cisco and Wally look teary-eyed when Barry greets them at the door of the cortex one day with a speech prepared, thanking them for everything (if he’s hurt by Iris’ continued absence, he doesn’t show it). Caitlin remains quiet, pride and affection warring for dominance in her heart as she looks at Barry. It’s all she can do to smile and let out a shuddery breath when he turns to her, a blinding smile on his lips, and pulls her in for a hug.

“I couldn’t have done this without you,” he murmurs softly in her ear, his arms warm around her waist.

“Anytime,” she promises and it feels like a confession.

When they break apart, he doesn’t turn back to the others like she expected. Instead, he looks shy and almost nervous, fidgeting under her gaze.

“Would it be okay if I came over tonight? To dance - no, sing ring ding-” he cuts himself off, frustrated and she waits patiently, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

“Can I read to Nora?” he finishes quietly, earnest green eyes hopeful.

She blinks in astonishment, eyes sliding over to where Cisco and Wally are pretending not to eavesdrop and Joe is silently watching the interaction. Her eyes find Barry’s again and she almost wants to tell the others to leave but that would make this mean something, like the very thing Caitlin has been talking herself out of since the moment she knew Barry had returned.

“Barry, I don’t expect you to get involved,” she begins only to be cut off by Barry himself.

“I want to. Even if Savitar wasn’t really me, she does share my DNA. I feel… responsible,” he explains slowly, careful not to trip over his own words.

Caitlin wants to argue, she wants to run right through the door and never look back but more than anything, she doesn’t want to feel the thing that crashes over her in a wave of emotion. The thing that brings tears to her eyes and makes it hard to breathe and dredges up every stupid daydream she ever had about them.

“Of course, you can read to her,” she chokes out, a tremor in her voice, barely noticeable but there.

Barry smiles and Caitlin… Caitlin tries not to fall.

* * *

She realized it after that stupid night they spent at the dive bar (although she suspected the feelings had been building even before that). She hadn’t known it that night, too tipsy and sick to think about anything other than getting into bed, or the next day, too hungover and her mind mentally caught up on a ‘Summer Nights’ loop but she’d known it when she declared that it was time for her to find someone new to be crazy about.

Still, everything had gotten so complicated that Caitlin had never had the chance to confess. Barry had begun dating Linda and she’d discovered that Ronnie was still alive and then everything that went down with the Reverse Flash, it was just too much. Her time at Mercury Labs had helped her think things through and so by the time Barry had come looking, she’d already resolved against pursuing anything.

With good reason too, because shortly thereafter, there’d been Patty and Hunter (a name that still turned Caitlin’s stomach) and Iris and then, Henry had died and Barry changed the timeline and suddenly, Caitlin had powers. Terrifying, awful, nightmarish powers.

Caitlin may have had reservations about confronting Barry but Killer Frost certainly hadn’t. Still, no amount of bitterness could ever override their shared history, their friendship, her feelings for him and most importantly, Caitlin’s faith in Barry and his ability to save people. Or accept themselves, in Killer Frost’s case.

Now, sitting here, watching Barry recite “The Good Dinosaur” to Nora, Caitlin could admit to herself that shying away from her feelings had been a mistake. Because if there was even the slightest chance, the slimmest possibility, that this was the endgame, Caitlin would take it.

It was terrifying, thrilling, in a way she could only remember feeling once before. With Ronnie.

“One day, he told his mother… I wish I was special like the other stars - no, dinosaurs. Like the other dinosaurs. If I were a t-rex, I could chomp with my ferocious teeth. But if you were a t-rex, said his mother… how would you hug me with your tiny little arms?”

Caitlin wiped at her eyes, her heart aching sweetly as she listened to the story. Barry paused, smiling gently as Nora reached a hand up to his face.

“What makes you special is that out of all the different dinosaurs in the big wide world, you have the mother who was just right for you,” he pauses, green eyes flicking up to meet Caitlin’s, “and who will always love you.”

The silence that follows is comfortable, warm even.

“It’s a beautiful story,” Caitlin comments.  

“My mom used to read it to me.”

“I’m sorry,” she blurts suddenly and he looks so confused for a second, she rushes on ahead. “Naming her Nora. I thought that I- that we would never see you again and it just, it felt like the right way to honor you. Him. You?”

Caitlin cut herself off, cringing at the awkward babble. He shakes his head, chuckling.

“Cait, I’m not mad. That you thought to name her after my mom, it - it means the world to me and I meant what I said. I’m not Savitar and I don’t -no, I can’t claim to understand what he and Killer Frost had but I feel as responsible for Nora as you do.”

A bright laugh bubbled out of Caitlin as she realized just how ridiculous their situation was. Both responsible for a child conceived by different versions of themselves.  

“We are quite the pair, Mr. Allen,” she quoted.

“Yes, we are, Dr. Snow.”

She scrunches her nose up, amused and relieved that things are still so easy between them. Barry shifts, hushing Nora gently as she begins to fuss. Caitlin stands, reaching out for her, smiling when Nora’s big green eyes come into view.

“How are you dealing with that?” Barry asks.

Caitlin hums in acknowledgment, glancing up at him briefly, urging him to continue.

“Your powers. Killer Frost. I don’t think we ever got the chance, lance, dance, no,” he breathes, shaking his head as if it could fix the lingering effects of his time in the speedforce. “We never  got the chance to talk about it.”

Caitlin is silent for a while, taking the time to place Nora, who’s nearly asleep, in her bassinet.

“After Savitar, I was terrified, ashamed, disgusted even but… I realized that I couldn’t keep running from who I was anymore. I wasn’t Caitlin anymore but I wasn’t Killer Frost either, I was something - someone else. I also realized that I didn’t like who I was when I was trying to get rid of my powers. The fear, it pushed me do terrible things.”

She brushed a tender finger over Nora’s cheek, tugging her little hat back down.

“When I found out I was pregnant, I knew that I had to find a way to make peace between us. I thought maybe I didn’t have to be one or the other, maybe we could just co-exist. It’s funny, we were both so scared of becoming one another that we forgot we could decide. Once we stopped fighting back, the connection just came easier.”

When she turned to look at Barry, he seemed pensive, eyes clouded with worry.

“I still don’t remember what I do when I’m her but I know she hasn’t hurt anyone,” Caitlin assured and then quirked a brow, “She’s also pretty protective of Nora, believe or not.”

Barry laughed brightly, eyes full of mirth.

“Well, at least we know who’s gonna be the parent who chases all of her dates off,” he teased and Caitlin feigned a gasp.

“I take offense to that. You’ve seen me when I’m drunk, I can be fun!” Caitlin protested half-heartedly.

“I know, Cait. I always have fun with you,” he spoke sincerely and Caitlin couldn’t help but blush.

“Seriously though, I’m glad everything worked out. I know how scared you were,” he said, slowly and carefully, his words carrying a weight that spoke volumes. She didn’t know how to respond to that.

“More wine?” she asked, getting up from her seat to pour herself another glass.

He shook his head, sighing as he rested his head on the back of the couch. Peeking at him surreptitiously from behind her curtain of hair, she noted the dejection in his posture, the bags under his eyes, the way his eyes seemed to sadden now that he thought she wasn’t looking.

“Cait…” he began hesitantly, “I thought that if I fixed what was wrong with me, that she would come back. Why… why hasn't she come back?”

 _Iris. He was talking about Iris_ , Caitlin realized.

“Barry, there's nothing to fix. You're still you, you're the same Barry who ran into the speedforce,” she abandoned her wine glass, kneeling into the cushions beside him. “Iris loves you, she does, she just needs time. Between you being gone for so long and suddenly reappearing and then finding out about Nora, it’s a lot to take in. She’ll come back though. That's your thing, right? You always come back to each other?”

He sounds like he’s on the verge of tears when he next speaks up and Caitlin can feel her heart breaking, for him, for Iris, for herself. Carefully, she pulls him into her chest.

“She won’t even answer my calls,” he chokes out, reaching up to cradle her elbows with his hands. She sighs, settling herself beside him, one hand finding its place at the nape of his neck, running softly through the stubbly hair there, the other caressing his arm comfortingly.

“Everything is going to work out,” Caitlin lies.

It’s all she can do to hope that somehow, she’s right.

* * *

 When Barry first heads back into the field, Wally and Cisco at his side, Caitlin is a nervous wreck.

Objectively, she knows that Barry is ready, that the only difference between him now and him prior to his stay in the speedforce is the fact that he sometimes needs to focus on producing the words he actually means so as to make sense. Still, Caitlin has always worried about Barry, even in the beginning when she grudgingly didn’t mean to.

Joe is the one who brings the situation to their attention first, an underground meta-trafficking ring under the control of a meta named Amunet.

The operation itself is moderately simple to bring down, the ring operating out of an underground bar but Amunet proves difficult to capture, her powers and that of her cronies proving a challenge for the boys.

In the end, she alone eludes capture and it isn’t until a week later that she resurfaces.

The boys are out, dealing with a meta that Cisco has dubbed ‘Hazard’ for her unusual ability of reversing fortunes, when Caitlin first hears it.

She’s feeding a bottle to Nora, whom unfortunately she had to bring to Star Labs with her because Eliza had suddenly had to run out for a family emergency and Caitlin couldn’t find anyone else on such short notice.

Above her, something creaks and Caitlin thinks nothing of it really, the building has been through a lot in it’s time. It isn’t until the voice hacks it’s way into the lab’s system that Caitlin realizes something is very very wrong.

“Oh Flash, come out, come out wherever you are. Or is the cat away, leaving the mice to play? Let’s see, who could it be? That little long-haired fellow, what’s his name hm. Cisco? Or perhaps, it’s Caitlin. Caity, dear, is that you?”

Ice crawls up Caitlin’s spine, Amunet’s voice echoing throughout the cortex.

“Right now, I’m holding the very structure of your building in my hand. One second is all I need and it comes crashing down so I suggest, you come out and face me, Flash. I have a bone to pick with you,” Amunet snarls, the ceiling above straining with effort.

Beside her, Nora begins to cry, Amunet’s threats effectively scaring her. Caitlin whirls, cursing when she finds the comms system jammed. Scooping Nora up in one arm, Caitlin searches frantically for the emergency SOS signal Cisco had installed in the suits. Overhead, Amunet’s shrill demands increase and dust begins to rain down as fissures appear in the ceiling.

Fear and anger stew in her veins and Caitlin can feel the temperature dropping around her, her eyes burning silver, her hair whiting out. She sends off the SOS message and with haste, she erects a barrier of ice around them, thick enough that the first chunks of plaster, the first beams of iron seem to slide off. All around, the cortex deteriorates and Nora is wailing, terrified screams that make Killer Frost want to jump out of her own body. Above it all, the metal groaning and screeching, the falling debris, the screaming infant and her own blood pounding in her ears, she can still hear Amunet.

She can hear Barry and Cisco as they yell out to one another in battle.

For a moment, her barrier falters, a beam of iron piercing through just to the right of her. Killer Frost draws the barrier in on them tighter, her frost shattering the iron almost vindictively once it’s outside the barrier.

Everything stills inside the cortex as the building settles and the debris lessens. From beyond the barrier, in the hall just outside the destruction, she sees Wally appear, hands motioning for her to come out. Carefully, she shrugs off her jacket and drapes it over Nora’s face, Nora who is still screaming in her ear, Killer Frost’s neck wet with her snot and tears. Carefully, she lets the barrier fall and almost instantly, the dust is blinding her, making it difficult to breathe. Making sure that Nora breathes in none of it, she carefully steps over the debris, making her way over to Wally who zips them out of the building as soon as they reach him.

Outside, she hands Nora over to Wally, instructing him to keep her safe. Wally seems to understand what she intends to do because he doesn’t ask where she’s going when she turns away from him, her blood itching to shove an ice spear through Amunet’s throat.

Barry and Cisco are holding their own when she turns the corner of the building, attacking Amunet on both sides. Amunet doesn’t see her coming at first and neither do the boys. With a scream of cold mist, she throws Amunet off her feet and is on her before she can even get her bearings, icicle sharpening against Amunet’s throat.

“I should kill you right here,” Killer Frost hisses.

Amunet’s eyes widen in surprise but only too quickly, she’s throwing out her glove to the side, magnets gathering at her command. They come up to clutch at her throat, cutting off her air supply. The icicle presses closer, a pinprick of red appearing at its tip.

“Frost, no!”

“Hey, hey. This isn’t you!”

Stubbornly, Killer Frost dismisses the shouts, wanting to make Amunet pay for putting Nora in danger, for turning Star Labs once again into a place of destruction and danger and chaos, once again erasing any possibility of it ever being the safe haven Caitlin had once thought it was.

It’s Barry’s voice that gets to her, in the end, his words making her retract the icicle at Amunet’s throat. The fact that she can’t breathe also plays a factor but mostly, it’s the sound of Barry’s voice.

Amunet releases her, a piercing, almost appraising, gaze the final thing Killer Frost sees of her before Cisco is hauling her up, slapping power-dampening cuffs onto her wrists.

“Cait, hey, you okay? Where’s Nora?” Barry is asking, cool gloved fingers pressing gently against her throat. Killer Frost hisses at the touch, her neck stinging.

“She’s with Wally,” she mutters, turning away from his eyes which are too soft, too fond.

Wally, to his merit, has already calmed Nora down but he still looks only too relieved to hand her over to Barry when he reaches out for her.

“Heeey, baby girl. Are you okay? I was so worried about you,” Barry coos, pressing a sweet kiss to Nora’s forehead, eyes growing infinitesimally fonder when chubby hands come up to bat at his mask.

Killer Frost is silent, watching Barry fuss over Nora. Some unknown emotion wells up in her, a sort of irrational longing, not for this Barry but for Savitar. She wonders, not for the first time, what he would have said about their daughter.

She shifts uncomfortably at the sensation, her eyes catching Wally’s. He seems curious as if analyzing a newly discovered specimen.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” she sneers and he rolls his eyes.

One of Cisco’s portals opens up beside her and he steps through, assuring them that Amunet is now on her way to Belle Reve.

“How much of the lab was destroyed?” Cisco asks, turning to her.

“As far as I could see, it was only the cortex,” Wally pipes up.

They stare up silently at the lab, the only noise between them the soft swish of the breeze and Nora still sniffling in Barry’s arms.

* * *

 It takes weeks for them to fix the cortex and even longer for them to ascertain that the damage to the central cortex hasn’t weakened any of the support for the rest of the structure. They’d lucked out really with the fact that the pipeline hadn’t been compromised like it had been before with Blackout.

In those long weeks, Caitlin finds herself spending a lot of time with Cisco and Barry. She also finds herself at the West house, Joe wanting to spend time with Nora, who was, as he proudly told everyone in the precinct, picture in hand, his first grandchild. Cecile is decidedly amused and Barry is only far too willing to indulge Joe by bringing her down to the station.

Nora takes a liking to Wally and Jesse, who pops in every so often from Earth-2 to see Wally, but not anymore than she does Cisco, his long hair a point of constant fascination.

Caitlin is happy, to say the least. That her daughter will grow up surrounded by love and family is everything she could ever want…. except it's not because Caitlin wants more and more comes in the form of Barry Allen. Barry, who is smart and kind and funny, who can sing and who dedicates his life to helping others. Barry, who turns out to be an amazing father (although Caitlin can’t say she’s surprised, she’s met Henry Allen and Joe West and for all the pain his mother’s death brings him, she knows Nora Allen wouldn’t have been lacking in the parenting department either).

Caitlin finds herself more enamoured with every passing day, her nights spent going over their interactions. Barry’s always been an affectionate person but everything feels so much more intimate now between them and Caitlin isn’t sure if it’s just wishful thinking or something that’s actually there. Sometimes, he’ll bring her flowers or sweets when he comes over in the evening. When he leaves her apartment, he kisses her forehead but she’s certain she’s caught his eyes flickering down to her lips before. When they go out with Nora, he tucks her up against him, a casual arm around her shoulder.

She wants to ask Cisco about it but she feels silly, acting like a lovestruck schoolgirl.

The illusion is shattered only too quickly when Iris returns. They’re playing monopoly at the West household, Cisco soundly kicking everyone’s butt. Harry is insisting that Cisco’s cheating when the door swings open.

“Iris!” a chorus of voices greet.

Joe and Wally immediately stand to greet her, bringing her bags in, Barry slower in standing, looking almost as miserable as he’d been that first Christmas they’d spent together when Iris had still been with Eddie.

Iris’ smile falters for a moment when her eyes land on Caitlin but then, Cecile is brushing past Joe to hug her and Caitlin is all but forgotten. Especially when Barry comes to stand before Iris, hesitant and uncertain, asking quietly if they could talk. With a tight nod, Iris sweeps past him, giving everyone else in the living room a half-hearted wave before she heads upstairs, Barry at her heels.

The ensuing silence is almost suffocating with how uncomfortably awkward it is and at first, they all try to quietly return to whatever activity previously occupied them but once the voices upstairs begin to raise, they all excuse themselves with due haste. Cisco is the first, Wally and Jesse racing each other out the door afterwards, leaving mussed hair, fluttering Monopoly money and shivering leaves in their wake. Harry grumbles all the way out the door, leaving Caitlin alone with Joe, Cecile and Nora.

On the floor, Nora shrieks, waving a fistful of Monopoly money. Caitlin curses softly, moving quickly to keep her from trying to put any of the money or the small pieces in her mouth. When she stands, Nora at her hip, Cecile is gathering her things, kissing Joe softly. She waves goodbye to Caitlin, blowing a kiss at Nora who claps in return and then the door is shutting behind her and Caitlin realizes that there’s no reason for her to be there anymore.

“Caitlin, you don’t have to leave,” Joe insists, setting about picking up all the pastel colored bills. She huffs, handing him Nora instead and directing him towards the couch with a stern glance, something which makes him laugh evidently.

“It’s a long drive back to Bludhaven,” she replies dismissively, picking up the task where he’d left off.

“I don’t like you having to drive back and forth so much. You need to move back into Central City,” Joe admonishes, looking over the back of the couch at her. “In fact, you could even stay here for a while.”

Caitlin’s sputtered protests fall on deaf ears, Joe cutting her off.

“It’s a big house and Wally is constantly splitting his time between here and Earth-2 so it’s just me and Cecile most of the time and we’d be happy to watch over Nora anytime you need. You’re family now, Caitlin, we look out for each other.”

Caitlin bites her lip, trying to contain the brilliant grin that threatens to break out, her cheeks bright with ruddy joy. Just then, Iris’ voice floats down the stairs and Caitlin deflates, sighing.

“Thank you for the offer but it’s better that I don’t. I’ve stepped on enough toes as it is,” she grimaces, her eyes unconsciously raising to the ceiling where very faintly she can hear Barry’s voice.

Joe opens his mouth to dispute that but the sound of a door shutting overhead startles them both. As they watch, Barry comes down the stairs, settling quietly at the bottom of the stairs. Caitlin glances at Joe, alarmed, who urges her silently to approach Barry.

“Barry?”

Barry shudders suddenly, his name the spark that ignites life in him. When she kneels before him, head ducking to catch his eyes, the grief on his face is deafening. It slices at her, bringing an equally painful memory to mind, the night that Savitar had taken Wally. The look on Barry’s face then as he’d confided his fears is the same look on Barry’s face now.

Caitlin clutches at his hand, her hands gripping tightly over knuckled fists and clenching fingers. He shudders again, wet ragged breaths that threaten to turn into outright sobs, and slowly his fist opens, pressing something cold and small into her palm. She doesn’t need to look at it to know what it is, the imprint of it like a familiar ghost echoing the past. Too often had she tugged off her own ring, grasping it in the palm of her hand.

Leaning in, she rests her head on his knee, whispering comforting assurances lowly, their hands tight on each other’s. Bringing them to her lips, she kisses the back of his hand and looks up at Barry.

He barely even notices her, his grip on her hand his only anchor to reality.

* * *

 Barry throws himself into his work, recklessly so.

He doesn't eat, he doesn't sleep, working tirelessly on his current cases and when he finishes those, turning to long forgotten cold cases. As the Flash, he takes unnecessary risks, ignoring Cisco and Caitlin’s advice, not communicating with Wally in the field. It isn't until the return of Peak-a-boo a few weeks after, that Caitlin snaps.

“Barry, get to back to the lab. Wally, Cisco is going to be joining you in the field,” Caitlin grits out, glaring at the monitor displaying Barry’s vitals.

“Cait, I can do th-” Barry sputters in protest.

“Bartholomew Henry Allen, you get back to Star Labs right now or so help me, I will give a new meaning to the phrase ‘'on thin ice’”.

Beside her, Cisco winces, turning away to open a portal to where Wally is waiting. She can hear Wally in the background, snickering to himself but she’s more interested in the way Barry sighs and then, appears in a whirlwind of red beside her.

Caitlin releases the death grip she has on her desk, misty frost seeping back into her hands.

“Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

“No, I'm trying to catch a meta, a task you are preventing me from doing,” Barry challenges and Caitlin has never been as annoyed with him as she is in this moment. Still, she tamps down on her irritation and tries to reason.

“Barry, I know you’re hurting and I know that you don’t have the best track record when it comes to coping but you can’t keep pulling stunts like that. You’re going to get yourself killed.”

“I know what I’m doing, you’re overreacting,” he deflects, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.

“Barry, it’s not just me! Everytime you go out there, Joe is terrified that he’s going to lose you again. Wally and Cisco can’t afford to have you out there, watching their backs when you don’t even care for yours. You were gone almost a year, Barry. We can’t lose you again.”

“You won’t,” he insists, stepping closer to her, hands coming up to cup her face warmly. “There is nothing that would ever keep me from watching Nora grow up.”

“Then why?” Caitlin whispers, eyes searching Barry’s.

Sighing, he turns away, his hands dropping to his sides. Leaning against Caitlin’s desk, he gathers his thoughts.

“I stood there like an idiot,” he begins, head bowed. “Iris… Iris told me everything she’d thought about while she was away at Opal City. ‘Screw the future’.... That’s what she’d told Eddie when she first saw the by-line in the Time Vault. After Earth-2, she thought maybe she owed it to herself to see where things went. She said she should have known we were doomed to fail from the beginning, by-line or no by-line.”

He falls silent, shoulders hunching in on himself as if to protect from invisible blows. Caitlin places a comforting hand on his shoulder, the act bringing a momentary quirk to his lips.

“As soon as we figured things out, my dad died and I went running off to change things. Savitar was... Murphy’s Law at its best- he was the future and he was me and everything was pointing to the fact that maybe we weren’t meant to be. After he died, we thought finally. We could be happy but that fell apart too….”

“She said she could understand if I felt responsible for Nora but then she asked me if I’d ever felt something for you and I just stood there…”

Caitlin’s breath caught, he heart thumping dully in her chest as she stared at Barry, wide-eyed. He went on, oblivious to the swarm of butterflies that now fluttered in Caitlin’s stomach.

“I’d never considered our relationship like that, like something that was more trouble than it was worth but she did. Maybe things did move a bit too quickly but it had felt right, even with pending expiration date…”

“Barry… what did you tell her?” Caitlin asked, her mouth dry, anxiety coiling through her tightly.

He blinked, shifting his eyes to her. He shrugs, a ghost of a smile appearing for only the briefest of moments.

“I didn’t say anything. How could I when I knew any denial would have been a lie?”

In mere seconds, Caitlin feels something warm and golden unfurling in her chest, the flush that crawls across her cheeks and the bridge of her nose similar in warmth.

“Iris was right, I know it… but it’s hard to let go of things when all your life you’ve only ever wanted that.”

He’s watching her steadily and she nods in understanding, the unspoken _I need time_ hanging between them like a fruit, sweet and full of potential.

“Booyah!” Cisco and Wally’s celebrations fill the cortex.

“For what it’s worth, I think we could make it,” she offers sincerely, pleased when it pulls a genuine smile from Barry.

“Me too,” he admits.

Cisco and Wally sweep into the lab, joyously relaying their victory against Peek-a-boo. Caitlin can relate.

She feels pretty victorious too.

* * *

 Despite their confessions, nothing happens between them in the following weeks. Barry was elsewise occupied with helping Iris move out, she’d decided on staying in Opal City for the time being. There was an open position for editorials at the Daily Gem and Iris thought perhaps it would be time to get back to her journalistic passions.

Caitlin, on the other hand, had enough on her plate between keeping Cisco and Wally in good health at Star Labs and Nora, who was increasingly irritated, having started teething. Eliza had complained endlessly and not more than once, Caitlin had considered Joe’s offer. It would be nice to be closer to the city and having someone to help her with Nora. Still, it felt a lot like an invasion and Caitlin loathed to cause any more harm than she’d already done, especially to Iris.

She's at home, feeding Nora, when Barry calls.

“Cait,” he greets, excited and upbeat, “do you have any plans for tonight?”

“Not particularly, no,” Caitlin replies and then sighs, “Nora, please. Just 3 more bites.”

She pauses then, finally registering Barry’s inquiry.

“Why do you ask?”

“Good. I'm taking you out then, our first date. Don't worry about Nora, I asked Joe if he could take her for tonight,” Barry explains, papers ruffling in the background.

 _He must be at the precinct_ , she thinks, feeding Nora another spoonful.

She mulls it over quietly, chewing on her lower lip. He chuckles.

“You’re doing it again, Cait.”

“What,” she exclaims indignantly, “what am I doing?”

“Overthinking things. I know Nora’s being fussy but babies teeth for about a year and Joe can handle it. Besides, I’d really rather not have to wait so long to take you out.”

Caitlin smiles, her cheeks flushing red.

“Did you speed read through all the baby books I gave you?” she accuses.

“Maybe.”

She huffs a laugh, only partly exasperated.

“You’re very persuasive, Mr. Allen.”

“I try, Ms. Snow. I’ll pick you up at 5.”

The line clicks dead and Caitlin is left, smiling at the screen like an idiot. When she looks up, Nora is staring at her, mouth still covered in puree.

“Your daddy is far too charming for his own good,” she admits, wiping Nora’s face down and picking her up from her booster chair. Nora babbles incomprehensibly and Caitlin nods in agreement.

The rest of the afternoon flies by. Caitlin puts Nora down for a nap and packs her a bag. She spends far too long trying to figure out what to wear, eventually settling on flats and a nice summer dress that looks both suitably casual and sophisticated.

Barry is only 5 minutes late, a feat which mildly impresses Caitlin. When she opens her apartment door, it’s to two large bouquets. Barry’s head peaks out from behind them, that blinding 1000-megawatt smile that Caitlin loves so much on display.

She raises an eyebrow, eyes flicking between the white rose and blue orchid bouquet and the sunset-colored one, full of dark red, coral, yellow roses.

“Two?”

He makes an aborted gesture, going to scratch at the back of his head like he’s wont to do when he’s nervous but instead, he smacks himself in the face with the bouquet. Caitlin giggles, shifting Nora onto her hip.

“I thought maybe it would be a good idea to get on Killer Frost’s good side and you two have such different tastes. These are fine, right?”

He shakes the white and blue bouquet gently and Caitlin can’t resist the urge. Shoving aside the bouquets, she steps closer, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

“They’re perfect and I’m sure she’ll love them… I love them,” Caitlin says, running the back of her fingers against the soft surface of his cheek. She smiles, catching a whiff of the fragrance. “She hates pink, fyi.”

“Noted,” Barry grins.

She steps aside to let him into the apartment, pointing out the cabinet where she’s kept a few vases.

“Where are we going exactly? It’s a bit early for dinner,” she comments, slinging Nora’s bag across her shoulder. Barry zips over to her side in a flash, trying to take it from her. She shakes her head, handing him Nora instead, who is already reaching out towards him with stubby arms.  

“Well first, we’re gonna drop this angel off at Joe’s. How’s my grumpy girl?” he asks, leaning in to kiss her forehead, frowning when Nora whines pitifully. “You know, I think she got her scowl from you. Just like that time I said you were uptight.”

Caitlin barks a laugh, unexpectedly.

“Reminding me of that is not in your best interest, Barry,” she huffs, rolling her eyes fondly when her answering response is low giggles.

They take Caitlin’s car, a new model, one much more suitable for family use than her old Volkswagen and Barry spends the entire time telling her a funny story he’s heard at work. Cecile answers the door when they arrive and she waves to Caitlin from the door, Caitlin who has been instructed to stay in the car because Barry insists on driving to wherever it is they’re going.

It’s only when she notices they’re on their way out of town that she breaks the comfortable silence that’s settled between them since they dropped off Nora.

“Where are we going exactly?”

“There’s this town… When I was a kid, I begged my parents to take me to a science expo and our cat -our car broke down near that town. That day was one of the best I had with my parents,” Barry explains solemnly.

Caitlin turns to gawk at him, her eyes tracing over his features. Soft brown hair, wispy long lashes that fluttered against high cheekbones, soft plush lips. Not for the first time, Caitlin marveled at how undeniably handsome Barry was but Barry was so much more than just a pretty face.

Reaching out, she links their fingers together, running her thumb gently across the back of his hand. He glances at her, a small smile on his lips.

“Thank you. For sharing it with me.”

It doesn’t feel like enough.

“Opening up isn’t so hard when it’s with you.”

The truth of it, the weight behind it, settles between them.

The town they arrive at isn’t so much a town as it is a single street, houses and business all nestled beside one another. They head towards the diner, a vintage-looking place with vinyl red booths and checkered floors. The girl behind the counter looks up when they enter, blue eyes widening.

“Hi. Picking up for Snow-Allen,” Barry says, shooting the girl a charming grin. She nods, dumbfounded, her eyes flicking back to Caitlin as she turns to head into the back.

“We’re not staying?” Caitlin asks, her hand coming up to wrap around Barry’s arm.

“No, I asked if they could pack us a basket. Said I’d pay extra,” Barry grins, eyes warm and bright as he leans in closer to her.

“A picnic? Aren’t you the romantic,” Caitlin muses.

“You have no idea,” he replies, nose brushing just so against hers, breath warm against her lips.

The girl behind the counter clears her throat and they look up to find a large picnic basket set on the counter before them. Barry coughs, scratching at his ear sheepishly. Digging his wallet out of his pocket, he steps closer, handing the girl the money and muttering something to her in a low voice. The girl glances at Caitlin again and whispers something back, nodding when Barry thanks her.

“What was that?” Caitlin asks suspiciously as they step outside.

“Just checking when the main event begins,” he responds cryptically, Caitlin narrows her eyes.

The warning he gives her barely registers before they’re off and next thing, she knows they’re standing at the top of a hill, overlooking the town, picnic already set up. The sun is beginning to set, washing everything in shades of gold, ribbons of pink and purple and blue streaking the sky.

Caitlin blinks, the scene inspiring some unknown emotion in her, something wistful and yearning. The feeling only intensifies when she glances down at Barry, already settled on the blanket, content and peaceful. She settles onto the blanket carefully, kicking off her flats. Barry is pulling things from the basket, containers full of sandwiches, fries, cheesecake even.

“Strawberry milkshake for you, chocolate shake for me,” Barry hands her a styrofoam cup, the milkshake sweet and cold when she tries it.

They tuck into their food, Caitlin wrinkling her nose when she sees Barry dipping a fry into gravy. He notices and almost immediately, he’s waving the soaked fry in front of her face temptingly, determined to have her try one. She caves eventually, Barry feeding it to her, his fingers brushing gently across her lips. It doesn’t taste half bad actually but Caitlin’s stubborn and hates being wrong and so she shrugs dismissively when Barry asks for her opinion. He laughs however, seeing right past her act.

Dessert, after that, is disgustingly sweet and not because of the cheesecake. She’s eating her cheesecake when Barry tucks his chin onto her shoulder, opening his mouth for a bite. She laughs, plucking the maraschino cherry from where it’s settled atop the cheesecake and dangling in front of Barry. He rips it off the stem with his teeth, kissing her cheek with sticky, cool lips. She giggles, a hand raising up to his cheek, tracing his jaw with her fingertips. Pressing her palm against his warm cheek, she leans in, resting her forehead against his.

He smells of grass and citrus and spice, a comforting scent that untangles the ball of nerves that’s built up in her stomach. When he nudges his nose against hers, soft and hesitant, silently asking for permission, she nods.

His lips are soft and warm, the sweet taste of cherry and chocolate still on his lips. She sighed happily, her lips opening up under his, the kiss deepening until Caitlin’s head swam. Running her hand into his hair, she pants when he nips at her lower lip, languid flicks of his tongue soothing the sting instantly.

His lips are swollen pink when she retreats, irises blown wide and his smile is small but his eyes betray the depth of his happiness. There’s something about the image, her hand with its short, blunt nails cupping his face, the adoration on it clear and simple, that melts every wall she still has erected within her. She kisses him again in the light of the fading sun.

Once the sun has set and darkness has crept in, they settle on their backs to look up at the stars, pointing out constellations. When Caitlin mentions she’d learned them in high school, the conversation shifts and soon they’re regaling one another with stories from high school.

It’s comfortable and startlingly easy and Caitlin relishes every minute of it.

Barry glances at his watch and stands, tugging her up. They stand quietly for a moment, Caitlin glancing at Barry’s expectant face as he gazes at the patch of sky over the town.

“What are we waiting for?”

“Just wait,” he hushes her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

A shrill whistling sound pierces the calm night and above them, the sky erupts into colorful flecks of light.

“Fireworks,” Caitlin breathes in awe and then turns to Barry, her stare accusatory. “You didn’t pay them for that, did you?”

Barry laughs, shaking his head.

“The town puts on a show every year, I just called to ask when they would be,” he explains and Caitlin relaxes, turning back to watch the display.

They’re not overly fancy or complex, just a short simple display but standing there, Barry’s side warm against her own, after what is possibly the best date she’s ever had, they seem magical.

“Cait,” Barry calls her attention and when she turns, he’s holding a key. She blinks at it and then at him, in askance. “Move in with me.”

Her eyes widen and almost as if sensing her building argument, he hurries on ahead.

“I know what you’re going to say: it’s too soon, we shouldn’t rush things, I still need time. All of that is true but it’s not why I’m asking. I just - I missed so much with Nora, I wasn’t there during the pregnancy or her birth or her first few months and I want to be there, moving forward. We can take things as slow as you want, keep separate bedrooms even. I just… I want to be close to my girls.”

Somewhere, a shell explodes and paints the night sky in red.

“Barry…”

The red dissipates into smoke and green lights take its place.

Green eyes stare back at her, full of longing.

Blue lights speckle a black canvas.

She takes the key.  

* * *

 Caitlin wakes to the sun on her face and the smell of coffee. She blinks, yawning into her pillow, listening carefully to the sounds outside her bedroom.

Barry is singing, a tune that sounds awfully like one from those musicals he loves so much. Caitlin glances at the bassinet sleepily, finding it empty.

Stretching, she sits up, glancing around the room.

It’d been two months since Caitlin had moved in and despite her initial reservations, Barry had made good on his promise. They were taking things slow, keeping separate bedrooms for the time being. Things between them were good.

Swinging her feet over the side of the bed, she shuffled her feet into her slippers, drawing on her robe. In the kitchen, Barry was cooking, head bopping along to the beat of the music. From her highchair, Nora celebrated her father’s antics, fresh peals of laughter erupting from her everytime he belted out a line.

Caitlin smiled, leaning against the doorway quietly, golden warmth bubbling in her chest at the sight. The song faded and for a moment, only the sounds of eggs sizzling in the pan filled the kitchen. A jaunty beat started up and Barry laughed, turning off the stove and divvying up the eggs onto the plates in high speed.

“Summer lovin’ had me a blast, summer lovin’ happened so fast. I met a girl crazy for me,” he sang.

“Met a boy cute as can be,” she interrupted.

“Summer days drifting away, to, uh oh, those summer nights,” they chorused, Caitlin internally cringing at the sound of her own voice.

“I can’t believe that’s our song,” she commented, closing the space between them.

Caitlin hummed contently, Barry’s arms settling on her waist, his lips brushing a kiss onto her hairline. She tucked her face into the curve of his neck, inhaling the familiar smell of spice and citrus.

“It’s a good song and a great film,” he argued.

Nora clapped her hands as in agreement and Caitlin peeked over Barry’s shoulder, chuckling when she saw the outfit that Barry had dressed her in. It was a Green Arrow inspired onesie, little green bows shaped into hearts printed all over.

“I’m sending a picture to Felicity,” she teased, extricating herself from his arms.

“Beat you to it. She says Oliver was not amused,” Barry countered, mimicking what Caitlin supposed was Oliver’s scowl. She giggled, settling herself atop the counter.

Their phones began to blare suddenly, the alarm signaling a meta attack underway.

Barry glanced at Caitlin in alarm. Caitlin grinned, nodding her head.

“Go save the day. We’ll be here when you get back.”

He was gone in a flash.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed the fic! If you wish to find me on tumblr, my url is takeunknownroadnow.


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